Summary
The Enterprise visits a planet called Haven, which legend has it has mystical healing powers. A strange message comes for Deanna Troi, she’s going to be married. Enter Lwaxana Troi and Deanna’s husband to be, Wyatt (and family). Shenanigans ensue. The Enterprise gets a message from the planet that some vessel is approaching and not communicating. Is it a threat? The vessel is Tarellian, a dangerous species believed to be extinct that carries a biological plague. Everywhere they go they infect the local populations and wipe out everyone. On board the Tarellian ship is a woman that Wyatt has been having visions of, and likewise she’s been having visions of him. Wyatt beams over to work to heal the Tarellians. Troi’s arranged marriage is called off and everyone lives happily ever after, except Wyatt who probably dies of a horrible plague.
Observations
Picard is all in on the superstition that the planet can heal wounds because “legends have a way of becoming true”.
Riker is into some weird hologram harp porn?
Tasha: “There’s a weird object being beamed in.”
Riker: “What is it?”
Tasha: “We’re not sure.”
Reject it. It could be a bomb. It could be a wild animal. It could be someone infected with space measles. REJECT IT!
The metal face on a box to deliver a message may be one of the strangest fucking things in all of Star Trek… maybe all of science fiction. It’s the kind of thing that gets pitched in the Doctor Who writing room and everyone goes “C’mon, this show still has some integrity. Ditch it. Let’s focus on the plot of the sentient slime monsters that go into people’s anuses.”
Tasha is excited by the jewels. Like she’s holding them close to her. I thought people didn’t desire wealth in the future?
Betazoids are set up to be backwards weirdos. “Genetic bonding” is a thing. Which basically means arranged marriages based on eugenics.
Picard’s biggest concern is whether he’ll have another person on board annoying him. His trusted counselor is getting hitched and he’s worried about having to squeeze an extra chair in at the Sunday brunch table.
Troi’s hubby to be looks all kinds of uncomfortable. Is Troi going to be his beard? No, Riker is her beard, but not until season 2.
Lwaxana Troi makes her first appearance. Stick with it, Majel, your cheating hubby is going to make you a star yet!
They explain the accent difference between Troi and her mother by her father having that same accent. Why not just make her father British, so Marina Sirtis could speak with her native accent?
Right away Lwaxana is perving on Picard. As dumb as this can be sometimes I think Patrick Stewart really enjoyed playing off of her.
The appearance of the Tarellian ship comes with an ominous message to the audience. This is known and it’s dangerous. Early TNG leaned in a lot on the “weird future”. Lots of things happened that weren’t fully explained, like in TOS. There wasn’t this desire to spell everything out and devote entire episodes to explaining the mundane backstory of why Klingons don’t have head ridges in TOS. We get a 2 minute briefing session where the characters basically tell the audience all they need to know.
Tasha’s hair is all spikey at the pre-wedding party? I dig it… however once again she is superfluous to the plot.
Betazoid weddings are naked! Isn’t that so craaaaazy??? Is it? Would it be to 24th century humanity? Wouldn’t we have gotten over a lot of these hang-ups? I mean wearing clothes is a good idea practically, so I get why people aren’t all running around naked. Would they be wigged out by nudity though?
The character interactions are so basic in this first season. Concept first, character second.
The Tarellian ship is in transporter range. The planet demands The Enterprise do something. Tasha offers to disable the ship. “And then?” Picard asks.
Tasha: “And then we drag it out of transporter range, tell them they are not to land on that planet on pain of death, and then negotiate with them to assist with their medical issues… what? You’re the fucking captain, baldie.”
Wyatt’s dream girl looks straight out of a 1980s softcore porn.
Lwaxana explains what is effectively The Force to Wyatt. A gigantic universal consciousness all life is tapped in to.
Wyatt’s parting words to Deanna “you are beautiful”. Well, as long as she understands her worth, I guess.
Nitpicks
The Tarellian ship is traveling at sub-light speed. Need I remind everyone how incredibly massive space is? Even at half the speed of light it could take them decades to get to a very nearby star system. Why not just say “They have a very rudimentary warp drive, sir. Capable of barely above Warp Factor 1.” That makes them slow enough that any modern ship and pounce on them, but fast enough that a generation is all it would take to get to even a moderately close star system.
Data hypothesizes that the reason the ship hasn’t replied is because everyone onboard is dead. Want to maybe scan for life forms? One of the major problems with high technology science fiction is that technology that can do just about anything creates gaps in character logic for plot convenience. An observant show runner will catch these discrepancies and explain them away. “Scan for lifeforms.” “Sir, we’re getting sensor feedback. Their hull appears to be made of a neutrotridumdiplodidon alloy. It makes scanning them impossible.”
Geordi gets a warning that someone is transporting off the Enterprise, but not in time to stop it. What good is that warning? He acts like it was some legit popup “WARNING: Someone has left the ship!” and not something that just came up in his regular report of goings on. A smarter way to write that would be to have the transporter chief message the bridge “Captain… Wyatt incapacitated me and it looks like he beamed over to the Tarellian ship!” Cut to view screen
Armchair Screenwriter 