I gave up keeping notes on Star Trek Picard after the second episode. Never even posted my second episode notes because I began to despise the show. It was the right call to not even bother documenting how absolutely terrible it was.

However, here I am two episodes in to Strange New Worlds and I have to admit I’m kind of enjoying it. I don’t have any notes for the first episode, because I assumed I’d hate it and didn’t bother, but that was a real mistake on my part.

As I’ve already stated I don’t think this is a bad show. I’m surprisingly ok with it. The characters are all terribly written, but the plots so far feel like Star Trek plots. Albeit, Star Trek plots written by dim wits who have watched some Star Trek, and understand the structure, but just don’t quite get the core idea.

On with the comments…

The Size of the Enterprise

Uhura: “It’s a small ship.”
Ortegas: “Actually, it’s not.”

Actually, it is. No matter how you define “small”, whether you mean crew compliment or physical dimensions. The original Constitution Class Enterprise had a compliment of around 200 crew during Christopher Pike’s time in command. This would increase to around 400 during Kirk’s time. The ship was approximately 290 meters in length with 21 decks.

Consider that a modern US aircraft carrier has a crew compliment of around 2600 in a ship that’s 333 meters in length.

This is all in reference to Uhura being embarrassed by something Ortegas did to her. I can guarantee you whether the crew is 200 or 400, everyone on that ship will know about the incident by the end of the day.

It’s a small ship.

Pike’s Quarters

However… we then see some kind of mess hall or something and it’s absolutely massive. Bigger than Ten Forward on Enterprise D (which was 4 times the size of the original Constitution Enterprise). A later scene would imply this is the captain’s quarters. Kirk’s quarters were tiny. Maybe he got tricked when he took command and the crew directed him to some smaller rooms while they converted Pike’s quarters into a rumpus room.

To Metric or Not to Metric

Uhura mentions growing up “a few miles away” from a particular place. This is either a wonderful nod to the use of Imperial measurements on TOS, or a total oversight of the writers. Regardless, Uhura being Kenyan, makes no sense for her to use imperial measurements. Clever reference or no, Uhura should use metric.

Super Uhura

Uhura speaks 37 languages, but didn’t understand a word of Klingon in Star Trek VI. To be fair, this is something even Nichelle Nichols despised. She argued with Nicholas Meyer that Uhura would know Klingon, the language of the Federation’s greatest enemy. But he said “Shut up, woman, it’s funny!” (not his exact words, but it was implied)

Uhura didn’t even recognize the giant space sausage in Star Trek IV was broadcasting an animal noise. Spock figured that out.

Mediocre Uhura

Pike asks Uhura what she wants to do with her career. The answer is “be a communication officer until I’m 70 and retire”.

Tragedy!

And everyone has a tragic backstory. Now Uhura’s family were killed in an accident. Spock’s sister vanished into a time void. The security officer’s family were killed by Gorn. Picard’s mother hanged herself. Let me guess, Kirk’s brother is going to get skinned alive by Turqanian Vlodderbeasts.

Aside…

By the way; remember when only Spock seemed to know Pike or care about him in the TOS episode The Menagerie? Did Uhura forget about serving under Pike?

The Prime Directive

They’re discussing moving a comet that’s about to strike a populated pre-warp planet. Nobody brings up the Prime Directive. I’m totally okay with violating the Prime Directive to save a world, Star Trek has done this plenty of times, but at least mention that this is a violation. Or, if that specific order hadn’t been established yet, maybe have some quick debate about how it isn’t strictly forbidden, but perhaps should be. Little nod to the audience that by TNG times this will be an issue, but isn’t, yet.

This is all made moot when the comet is revealed to have shields on it. A better narrative solution would be to scan it first, realize it has shields, and then say “If a warp level civilization is messing with this planet, the Prime Directive doesn’t apply.”

Aside…

They kept the original Starfleet emblem on the side of The Enterprise, but otherwise forgot that every ship had its own insignia. Everyone wears the same badge on their uniform. The famous “Star Trek logo” was originally The Enterprise’s insignia.

Thoughts?

Something very positive: I love scenes of a captain asking the crew for opinions. This has been missing since the show Enterprise. Big thumbs up here.

Dicks and Clowns

There are two types of characters in Nu-Trek: Flippant and Asshole. Everyone is either too careless and jokie about the situation or a huge dick about everything. Nothing in between.

Mansplain This!

Surprise surprise, another dumb man doing dumb man things while the more level headed women tell them not to do the dumb thing… and then the man pays for it.

I’m all for correcting decades of women being relegated to a backseat on television, but this goes beyond over-correction. This is consistent in Nu-Trek. Every male character is a dumbass and every female character is a super genius.

You want to have someone do something dumb to move the plot forward? Fine. You don’t want to risk enraging the Culture Warriors by implying that women also make mistakes? Also fine. Have the man make the mistake, but just don’t have him be a total ignorant jackass about it. Have him act like a fucking Starfleet officer who earned his way into that position… because this is the optimistic Star Trek future, where humanity has moved beyond racism, sexism, agism, and other forms of bigotry and marginalization. That guy is there because he’s the best person for that job. He can still make mistakes, but have them be reasonable mistakes.

Aside…

I love that the tricorders look like TOS tricorders. It totally doesn’t fit, but I love it.

Just do whatever… I read the script

Ortegas: We could use phasers to disrupt the shield.
Number One: Or it could shatter the whole thing. (implied that it would kill everyone on the comet, and send pieces raining down onto the planet)
Pike: Great plan. Do it!

Yo, time out, bro. Want to maybe think about that a little longer? Your first officer is more experienced, and her insight could be valuable. How about:

Pike: Do you have any suggestions, Number One?
Number One: Unfortunately, I do not. And we’re running out of time.
Pike: Then we may have to take that risk.
Number One: Sadly, I agree.
Pike: Alright, Ortegas. Do your thing.

Aside…

Charming banter between Uhura and Spock has TOS precedent. I will allow it.

Great Premise

I want to rag on this show, but this is a really cool Star Trek premise. Enterprise encounters a thing. The thing is going to hurt/kill people. They try to stop it, only to learn the thing is more interesting and complicated, in this case a potentially sentient object that is worshiped by another alien race that wants to protect it. A+ Star Trek idea… let’s see how they piss this concept down their leg.

Aside…

Singh: Why would an alien species write music the way humans do?
That’s a Star Trek question. Spock then answers it somewhat satisfactorily. I approve. Also a rare moment of a male character correcting a female character. I guess Spock is integral enough he can do that.

Fascinating… no, I mean awesome!

Spock looks surprised, maybe anxious when the egg opens. That’s not Spock. He should look intrigued.

Did someone turn over two pages at once?

Uhura: I have an idea
Cut to force field dropping and the crew getting beamed back over. Maybe they are going to tell us what Uhura figured out later, but this is terrible writing/editing.

Aside…

Nice little detail: The Enterprise goes into an evasive pattern, designed by super awesome pilot Ortegas, and they still get hit a few times. I like this better than everything works perfectly and flawlessly and there’s no risk or threat to anyone ever.

Dumb Solution

So instead of the solution being some kind of ethical debate or dilemma, Spock just flies a shuttle and does a thing. Lame.

Evolution? Whatever, nerd!

The comet goes too close to the planet that it releases a bunch of its water vapor into the atmosphere, permanently changing its content. Spock says this is a good thing because it will encourage more agriculture and societal development. This is coming from a guy whose species developed on a very hot and dry planet. How do they know that a more humid climate won’t cause species to thrive that will overwhelm the sentient life on the planet? The species is, presumably, millions of years old, assuming a similar evolutionary trajectory to humanity. They evolved to survive and thrive on that planet as it was. The short term impact of it suddenly being wetter will likely cause that species massive hardship, possibly leading to its extinction.

The show implies somehow fate is involved (as this ties into Pike’s character arc), but at least acknowledge that this could be catastrophic. How is this for a better ending?

Spock: The comet has increased the water level in the atmosphere by twenty five percent.
Pike: Meaning?
Spock: This will irrevocably change the climate of the planet. Increasing the amount of rainfall.
Pike: That’s good, right?
Number One: Not necessarily. The species on that planet evolved specific to the climate. A sudden change like that could be catastrophic.
Spock: Or it could be beneficial. We do not know enough about the meteorological history of this planet, commander. It requires further study.
Uhura: Captain, take a look at this…

[insert all the stuff about the event possibly being intentional and fated by the sentient comet]

Pike (clearly with something else on his mind): Well, if this was destined to happen, maybe we can trust that it was for the better?
Spock (looking right at Pike, clearly not talking about the comet): The very concept of fate, or destiny, is illogical.
Pike looks at Spock thoughtfully, his expression darkens, and he walks away. (show us the point of the episode, don’t tell us)

Conclusion

Overall this is a fine episode. It’s leaps and bounds better than Discovery or Picard, but still hasn’t quite grasped the idea of Star Trek.