A bit of a cop-out this week, sort of. It’s not a new story, but it still required quite a bit of writing, so I’m going to count it.

Here’s the experiment: Someone else comes to me with their story and wants some help. I don’t get to entirely re-write it. It’s their story, their ideas, they just want my input on how to tweak/fix some things that I might think are fundamentally broken. So, I have to set aside my impulse to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch and make it my story. It’s theirs, I’m just helping.

Where to start? Where to start? Oh, I know!

Recently I forced my wife to endure Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace in its entirety. She had never seen it. She was not exactly impressed, but it got us both talking about little tweaks that could potentially salvage at least some of the movie. For once I will not be trashing this movie. I will actually be quite reverential, keeping the overwhelming majority of it untouched.

Setting the Stage

It’s late 1997. George Lucas comes to me and asks me to take a look at his script for the next Star Wars film. George says “Listen, I’ve already hired actors, we’re building sets, and the model workers and VFX artists are already at work. You can’t add any characters or locations. If you remove an actor or location, we’ve already spent that money, so I’m not going to be happy. Any changes you make have to stick within the framework of what I already have in this script. So… wow me.”

With that in mind I can’t make Anakin older. I can’t get rid of Qui-Gon. Jettisoning the entire Pod Race will infuriate George, since he’s already spent so much on it. So, what is something small we can fix that would vastly improve the movie?

Darth Maul

He’s not even a character. He’s a thing. A gimmick. He serves no real purpose in the story except to give the Jedi something to do in the final battle. So, let’s fix him, and in the process improve the overall narrative.

There will be no changes to his introduction via hologram during the conversation with Nute Gunray. That’s pretty good and effective.

The next time we see him, he and Sidious exchange some dialogue about finding the Queen on Tatooine.

EXT CORUSCANT – BALCONY OVERLOOKING CITY – NIGHT

DARTH SIDIOUS and DARTH MAUL are walking along the balcony overlooking the vast city.

DARTH MAUL: Tatooine is sparsely populated. If the trace was correct, I will find them quickly, master.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Be mindful of the two Jedi. They are dangerous. You will be no match for them. Keep yourself hidden. Your mission is to capture the queen and bring her back to Naboo to sign the treaty.

DARTH MAUL: (visibly annoyed) I tire of hiding, master. Plans and schemes are your way. We should reveal ourselves to the Jedi now. I will have their heads and capture the queen.

DARTH SIDIOUS: (menacingly) You forget yourself, apprentice. I will not see the plan that I have spent decades crafting come undone by your impulsiveness.

DARTH MAUL turns away quickly with a huff and storms off. DARTH SIDIOUS grins once DARTH MAUL’s back is to him.

Just a tiny tweak here. Maul is impatient and spoiling for a fight. Sidious is feigning that he wants to rein him in, but it’s clear he actually wants Maul to get into mischief. Maul is not to know that though. He is a pawn in Sidious’s plan, just like everyone else. We’re establishing that everyone is disposable to him. As he takes on apprentices later, such as Dooku and Vader, we know he doesn’t really care about them. They are just tools to be used up and discarded.

The next scenes with Maul go unchanged. He goes to Tatooine. He scouts. He gets to Qui-Gon just before they take off and Qui-Gon narrowly escapes.

We insert a new scene just after the queen decides to return to Naboo, but before the original scene where Sidious contacts Nute Gunray to say Darth Maul is heading to Naboo.

EXT CORUSCANT – VACANT INDUSTRIAL BUILDING – NIGHT

DARTH SIDIOUS stands waiting as DARTH MAUL walks quickly toward him.

DARTH MAUL (shouting): They are here! They came back here, and you didn’t tell me?

DARTH SIDIOUS: I warned you not to reveal yourself. Your failure to stop them has put us one step closer to ruin. The Jedi now know we exist. Your arrogance and overconfidence will be your undoing.

DARTH MAUL: Your inability to act will be yours!

DARTH SIDIOUS: Patience, apprentice. Things can still work in our favor. If the queen—

DARTH SIDIOUS pauses as DARTH MAUL stares him down.

DARTH MAUL: Naboo? They’ve gone back to Naboo!

DARTH SIDIOUS gasps.

DARTH MAUL: Worthless old fool. You can’t even hide your designs from me. I am putting an end to this. I will kill the Jedi and then I will kill the queen.

DARTH SIDIOUS: No! I beg of you. She is important to my plan!

DARTH MAUL: She’s of no importance to my plan.

DARTH SIDIOUS: I am warning you. I am your master.

DARTH MAUL steps up to DARTH SIDIOUS, standing over him, baring his sharp teeth.

DARTH MAUL: If you could stop me, you would. You know I have grown more powerful than you. I don’t need you anymore.

DARTH MAUL turns away laughing.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Please! Come back! Don’t do anything foolish!

Without turning back, DARTH MAUL waves away DARTH SIDIOUS’S pleas. Once DARTH MAUL is gone, DARTH SIDIOUS’S pathetic demeanor shifts, and he begins to cackle.

We continue the theme that Darth Maul is an impulsive brute, looking to prove himself, and that Sidious is playing him like a fiddle. This puts the idea into the audience’s mind that Sidious’s actual plan is exactly what’s transpiring. He’s a master puppeteer, moving dozens of strings at once. Technically we are introducing a new location, but given that the movie was shot mostly blue screen with digital backgrounds, this is a small change that wouldn’t affect shooting. You can shoot it the same day as the scene on the balcony.

The next scene where Sidious contacts Nute Gunray is altered slightly…

INT NABOO PALACE – THRONE ROOM – THEED – NIGHT

NUTE and RUNE stand before a hologram of DARTH SIDIOUS.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Is the planet secure?

NUTE: We have taken over the last pockets of primitive life forms. We are in complete control of the planet now.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Good. I will see to it that things stay as they are in the Senate. Darth Maul will be arriving to oversee the remainder of the operation. He is in command, you are to obey his every order, just as I have.

NUTE: Yes, my Lord.

DARTH SIDIOUS fades off.

RUNE: I thought DARTH SIDIOUS was the one in charge.

NUTE shakes his head and shrugs.

Up to this point, the Trade Federation assumed Sidious was in charge. Now he’s leading them to believe this is all Maul’s operation, so when he fails, and Sidious believes he ultimately will, Nute Gunray will point the finger at the dead Sith Lord, who will ultimately lead the Republic and Jedi nowhere. Maybe he rambles about a hooded guy that was working with him, but he’s clearly just a puppet in the operation, not as important as the guy that was cut in half. And with Maul dead, surely the plan is dead, and they have nothing to worry about, right?

Now we’re into territory where almost every scene with Maul is going to change, in order to avoid some contradictions with him still there doing Sidious’s bidding.

INT NABOO PALACE – HANGAR – DAY

NUTE and RUNE stand waiting as DARTH MAUL exits his ship.

NUTE (bowing): We are honored to—

DARTH MAUL: I have no stomach for sycophants. What have you learned of the queen’s return?

NUTE: Our sensors detected a ship landing in the swamp. We’ve sent out patrols. It won’t be long, my lord.

DARTH MAUL stares at NUTE and RUNE, as if awaiting more. When he gets nothing, he explodes in anger.

DARTH MAUL: “Go! Find them!

No other changes until we replace another hologram scene with Sidious with just Nute, Rune, and Maul.

INT THEED – PALACE – THRONE ROOM – DAY

DARTH MAUL sits on the throne, idly twirling his lightsaber in hand. NUTE and RUNE enter.

NUTE: An army assembling in the swamp. It appears to be made up of primitives.

DARTH MAUL sits up.

DARTH MAUL: Send out a force large enough to annihilate them.

NUTE: But, my lord, I’m concerned this may be a diversion.

DARTH MAUL bares his sharp teeth in a sinister grin.

DARTH MAUL: I am counting on it.

Nute Gunray is less of a buffoon here. He’s actually thinking ahead and realizes this may be a trick. Maul also suspects it, but wants it, because it means the Jedi will be with her. Finally he’ll have his chance to kill them.

From here on things progress almost exactly the same way. I would like to see Maul a little more vocal during the fight with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Taunting them. Laughing. Showing off more. But that’s about it.

It ends the same way. Maul kills Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan kills Maul… yes, I know, canonically, he survived being cut in half. Nonsense. In the context of the movie he’s dead. The next major change happens at Qui-Gon’s funeral.

EXT THEED – CENTRAL PLAZA – FUNERAL TEMPLE STEPS – SUNSET

QUI-GON’s body goes up in flames as the JEDI COUNCIL, the QUEEN, SIO BIBBLE, CAPTAIN PANAKA, the HANDMAIDENS, and ABOUT ONE HUNDRED NABOO TROOPES, TWENTY OTHER JEDI, PALPATINE, OBI-WAN (standing with ANAKIN), JAR JAR, BOSS NASS, and TWENTY OTHER GUNGAN WARRIORS watch. There is a drum roll that stops. Doves are released, and the body is gone. ANAKIN looks to OBI-WAN.

ANAKIN: What will happen to me now?

OBI-WAN: The Council has granted me permission to train you. You will be a Jedi, I promise.

To one side, MACE WINDU turns to YODA.

MACE WINDU: There’s no doubt. The mysterious warrior was a Sith.

YODA: Always two there are…. no more… no less. A master and an apprentice.

MACE WINDU: If Nute Gunray’s confession is to be believed, it was the master that Obi-Wan defeated. Still, I fear that dark days lie before us.

YODA: If defeated by a padawan this master was, fear his apprentice, we should not. Not yet, anyway.

MACE WINDU: Let us hope that you are right, and this will be the last we see of the Sith for a long time.

The camera pans over to PALPATINE, who slyly grins.

And now we have a reason why the Jedi do literally nothing to unravel the plot between Episodes I and II. They were convinced Maul was the master, and some shady hooded old man was his mouth piece. And since Obi-Wan who, despite being quite powerful, was a mere apprentice, and dispatched him, they’re pretty certain there isn’t a super powerful Sith Lord hanging out right under their noses.

And that’s it. That’s my small tweak to salvage some of Episode I. It obviously doesn’t fix other issues with the movie, which is to say… most of it. But, it serves to shore up the confusing plot slightly and it gives one of the more iconic visuals of the franchise some actual character and depth.

So is this it for the experiment? Did we watch Episode II and I have some thoughts on that?

You’ll just have to wait a week and find out.

But the answer is “yes”.