Small Tweaks

I’m returning to the concept from two weeks ago where I try to tweak one small thing in a movie.

Continuing the task of forcing my wife to watch the Star Wars prequels, we finally got around to Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones. She hasn’t drawn up divorce papers yet, so that’s probably a good sign.

Once again, I will not be trashing the movie. I will actually be quite reverential, keeping the overwhelming majority of it untouched.

Setting the Stage

It’s early 2000. George Lucas is ecstatic that my changes to Episode I have helped it become an even bigger box office sensation than it was in the original timeline. He gives me the same task again: Take a look at his script for Episode II. Actors are already hired, sets are being built, and the model workers and VFX artists are already at work. I can’t add any major characters or locations.

I’m going to push back a tiny bit this time, asking for a much bigger change to a couple of scenes. It might require dipping into central casting for some featured extras, but it’s ultimately not a total overhaul.

So what am I changing?

Shmi Skywalker’s Death

It really bothers me that she’s just kind of kidnapped off screen and dies right when Anakin arrives. Worse, he tells Padme that he murdered dozens of innocent people, and she’s fine with it. All of this needs to get re-worked. And this change will factor into Anakin’s behavior later in the film.

Anakin’s Dreams

Anakin’s dreams will have hints of his mother saying “Anakin, no!” and then cutting to her anguished, dying face.

Everything else is the same until Anakin arrives at the Lars moisture farm.

(apologies if this doesn’t exactly line up with the movie, my research turned up a script that doesn’t account for edits in the finished film)

Anakin Learns about Shmi’s Kidnapping

EXT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, COURTYARD – LATE DAY

ANAKIN, PADME and THREEPIO arrive in the courtyard. THREEPIO shuffles ahead.

C-3PO: Master Lars, mistress Whitesun. Somebody to see you!

BERU WHITESUN comes out into the courtyard.

ANAKIN: I’m Anakin Skywalker. I’m here looking for my mother.

BERU (visibly distressed): Uhm… she’s…

ANAKIN (irritated): Is my mother here?

CLIEGG: No, she’s not.

CLIEGG LARS arrives from inside the house on a small floating chair. One of his legs is heavily bandaged; the other is missing. He balances awkwardly and puts out a hand.

CLIEGG (continuing): Cliegg Lars. Shmi is my wife… Come on inside. We have a lot to talk about.

INT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, DINING AREA – LATE DAY

CLIEGG, BERU, PADME and ANAKIN sit around the table

CLIEGG: Your mother had gone out early, like she always did, to pick mushrooms that grow on the vaporatos. From the tracks, she was about halfway when they took her. Those Tuskens walk like men, but they’re vicious, mindless monsters. Thirty of us went out after her. Four of us came back. They killed or took the rest, including my son, Owen.

BERU’s head bows and begins weeping.

CLIEGG: Owen and Beru are engaged.

CLIEGG takes a long distressed pause. PADME moves around the table to comfort BERU.

CLIEGG: Three more are still out there looking. I’d be with them, only… I just couldn’t ride any more… until I heal.

CLIEGG grimaces, easing his throbbing leg.

CLIEGG: I don’t want to give up on her, but she’s been gone a month, and Owen nearly that long. There’s little hope they’ve lasted this long.

ANAKIN stands up.

CLIEGG: Where are you going?

ANAKIN: To find my mother.

CLIEGG: She’s dead, son. Accept it.

ANAKIN turns abruptly and exits.

Only a few minor changes here, chiefly that Owen was also taken. He’s going to be important in the scene where Anakin finds them.

From here things progress nearly the same until Anakin finds the Tusken camp.

Anakin Attempts to Rescue His Mother

EXT. TATOOINE, CLIFF – SUNSET

ANAKIN pulls up near the edge of a cliff. He gets off the bike and creeps to the edge. He looks over to see a Tusken camp in the oasis below. Using his binoculars he can see a group of six humans, tied to each other around the ankle with crude ropes. In the middle of the group is SHMI SKYWALKER. She looks haggard and tired, but is uninjured. Behind her in the line is OWEN LARS. The Tuskens usher them into a large hut in the middle of the camp.

EXT. TATOOINE, TUSKEN RAIDER CAMP – NIGHT

ANAKIN creeps through the camp, working his way from hut to hut, flattening himself against the walls, until he arrives at the hut where he saw the prisoners taken earlier. There are two guards around the front of the hut. With a flick of his hand a rattling sound emerges in the distance. The Tusken guards walk a few meters away to investigate. Anakin sneaks behind them and into the hut, drawing the bantha skin door behind him.

INT. TUSKEN RAIDER HUTT – NIGHT

Six ragged prisoners sleep inside the room on crude mats. They are no longer restrained. Anakin crawls toward his mother and gently wakes her.

SHMI (loudly): Ani?

ANAKIN is smiling from ear to ear as he embraces her.

ANAKIN (motioning for her to be quiet and whispering): Shh! I’m here to rescue you.

The other prisoners begin waking up.

OWEN: Who is this?

SHMI: Owen, this is my son, Anakin.

ANAKIN nods toward OWEN.

ANAKIN: I’m going to get you out of here.

OWEN: There are too many of them. There’s no way we make it out of here in one piece. These sand people are vicious beasts.

ANAKIN (waggling his lightsaber hilt): Clearly, you’ve never seen what a fully trained Jedi can do.

SHMI: Anakin, there’s no need for that. These people aren’t monsters. They’re struggling. They need water. Our vaporators have taken the very lifeblood of this planet. They just wanted us to get water for them. We’ve been helping them, as best we can.

PRISONER#1 (irritated): Some of us willingly, it seems.

OWEN: They’re savages. They’ll never understand the technology. They’ll destroy every vaporator before long if we keep this up. And then our people starve. I want to get out of here, but we need a better plan. Maybe if you could sneak some weapons in here?

SHMI: No! We should talk to them. Negotiate. Tell them we’ll help them in exchange for letting us go.

ANAKIN (visibly unsure): Mom, I came here to save you, and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m getting you out of here.

OWEN: Not without the rest of us, I hope.

SHMI: We’re not leaving anyone behind, but we’re also not going to raise a hand to these poor people.

ANAKIN (with a big smile): I’ll do my best not to hurt anyone, alright? Stay close.

EXT. TATOOINE, TUSKEN RAIDER CAMP – NIGHT

The two Tusken guards sit outside the hut once again. The door to the tent slowly rises as ANAKIN leans out, with his hand extended. Across from the hut a rack of hides, held up by sticks, is knocked backward several meters. The guards look at each other briefly, then scramble away to investigate.

ANAKIN exits the hut with the prisoners in tow. They sneak toward the edge of the camp, but are spotted by another Tusken guard who lets out a loud shriek. ANAKIN extends his hand and the Tusken is knocked down.

ANAKIN: Run!

ANAKIN ignites his saber and stays at the flank of the group of prisoners, facing the Tuskens as they emerge, weapons drawn, charging toward them. The first few approach with gaderffii sticks. ANAKIN cuts their weapons in half and kicks, or Force pushes them away. Then more Tuskens join the fight with rifles and begin shooting. Anakin uses his saber to deflect the projectiles.

ANAKIN: Go! Go! I can’t hold them off forever!

One Tusken leaps out from a nearby hut, surprising ANAKIN. ANAKIN turns quickly and raises his saber, ready to cut the Tusken down. He pauses when he hears his mother’s voice.

SHMI: Anakin, no!

His attention snaps back and he moves his saber to deflect a projectile that then redirects right into SHMI’s chest. SHMI lets out a howl of anguish. ANAKIN lashes out with the Force, knocking back the shooting Tuskens, and the one next to him. ANAKIN runs over to SHMI.

ANAKIN: No! No!

SHMI cradles the wound in her chest. Her hand is covered in blood (but not too much to lose the PG rating). OWEN is at her side.

OWEN: We’ve got to get her out of here, fast!

ANAKIN closes his eyes, sensing with the Force. He places his hand over the wound. He begins crying.

ANAKIN: I’m sorry, mom. I’m so sorry.

SHMI reaches up to cradle his cheek.

SHMI (becoming delirious): Ani… Ani… I love you. Be a good boy now, Ani, and go. Don’t linger here. Go!

In the meantime, the Tuskens have surrounded the group, their weapons drawn. Behind the soldiers are some female Tuskens and curious children. ANAKIN notices them and slowly rises to his feet. The Tuskens prod with their weapons, barking at ANAKIN in their language. The other prisoners have their hands up, already surrendered. ANAKIN lets out a howl as he ignites his saber. With a wave of Force energy everyone is knocked back.

OWEN is sent through the side of one of the huts, collapsing it. The remainder of the scene happens from his limited perspective, buried under some ruble. He sees only vague shapes. A blue light moving swiftly through the air. The sound of a lightsaber whirring. The terrified howls of Tuskens. Then more clearly he can see a Tusken child running away. The child is stopped in its tracks, desperately trying to run, crying the whole time, but it’s violently dragged backward by an invisible Force. We see OWEN’s horrified reaction as he hears the swing of the saber and the terrified screams of a Tusken child.

Why this huge change? Why make Anakin partially responsible for his mother’s death? Mainly because it’s tragic and he now has agency in her demise. Anakin was impatient and impulsive, two things Obi-Wan has already warned him about earlier in the story. He should have listened to her. He should have tried to negotiate for her release. That would have been the Jedi way. Yes, ultimately Anakin’s downfall is his fear of losing people. And that’s still here. That’s what’s motivating him to act so impulsively, but now there’s an additional layer of guilt. And if we keep him choking Padme, and that ultimately being the reason she dies, then it’s a cycle that repeats itself. A cycle he doesn’t learn from.

Why involve Owen? Simply to give Anakin and Owen more screen time together and to give Owen reason to really hate Anakin and fear Luke becoming him.

Anakin Returns to the Homestead

The return to the homestead is pretty similar, only now Anakin arrives with Owen, who is severely wounded, and is helped inside by Beru. The next major change is the conversation between Anakin and Padme.

INT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, GARAGE – DAY

PADME comes in with a tray of food. ANAKIN is standing at a workbench, repairing a part of the speeder bike.

PADME: I brought you something. Are you hungry?

PADME puts the tray down.

ANAKIN (distant and sullen): No.

PADME: Anakin, I’m so sorry about your mother. Do you want to talk about what happened?

ANAKIN tosses the tool aside and turns to face PADME.

ANAKIN: She was a prisoner of the sand people. I tried to get her out. They started shooting. She got hit. It was all my fault.

PADME: How could it be your fault?

ANAKIN: I should have been patient, like Obi-Wan taught me. I shouldn’t have rushed in there and rushed out. I got her killed.

PADME comes over to comfort ANAKIN.

PADME: You can’t control everything. Cliegg was saying they’re vicious, like monsters. I have to believe that’s the case.

ANAKIN pauses, as if he is going to correct PADME, but then becomes lost in thought.

ANAKIN: Yeah… that’s right. They started shooting. We weren’t attacking them. They shot her.

ANAKIN begins to seethe. Small objects around the room begin to vibrate. PADME looks around in fear.

PADME: Anakin!

ANAKIN snaps back to reality and looks at PADME with a sad smile.

Anakin: I should be better than this. I’ve been trained to let go of attachments, but…

ANAKIN reaches out and strokes PADME’s cheek and then they embrace.

Major change here is that Padme never learns that Anakin slaughtered women and children. He’s intentionally hiding it from her. He’s also being coy about how his mother died. She innocently tries to comfort him, as anyone would, and only reinforces his corrupting world view that he was right to do what he did. In the end he admits he shouldn’t be afraid of loss, but is, and now that fear is directed to losing her.

Now when Padme awkwardly says she loves him later, you’re not wondering “Wait, did she forget that he killed women and children???”

EXTERIOR: TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, GRAVESITE – DAY

ANAKIN, PADME, CLIEGG, OWEN, BERU, and THREEPIO are standing around Shmi’s grave. Two other headstones, one smaller than the other, stand in the blazing suns.

CLIEGG: I know wherever you are it’s become a better place. You were the most loving partner a man could ever have. Goodbye, my dearest wife. And thank you.

There’s a brief pause. ANAKIN steps forward and kneels at his mother’s grave. He picks up a handful of sand.

ANAKIN: I should have listened to you, mom. I’m so sorry. Be one with the Force. We’ll see each other again someday… I hope.

ANAKIN releases the sand onto her grave. He stands and catches OWEN’s gaze. OWEN stares at him, a look of disgust on his face. OWEN abruptly turns away, BERU rushes to his side to assist him. BERU glances back to ANAKIN with a look of regret.

Silence. Then BEEPS and WHISTLES are heard. They turn as ARTOO rolls up…

Everything stays the same until the confrontation with Count Dooku at the end, and I’m only changing this because it thematically fits in better with his failure with the sand people.

Anakin fights Dooku

INTERIOR: GEONOSIS, SECRET HANGER TOWER – LATE DAY

COUNT DOOKU throws switches on a control panel. His Interstellar Sail Ship is parked nearby. ANAKIN and OBI-WAN rush into the hanger.

OBI-WAN: You’re not getting away so easily, Count Dooku. You’ll answer for your part in all this.

OBI-WAN glances over to ANAKIN, who he can feel is ready to jump.

OBI-WAN (to Anakin calmly): Patience. Calm yourself. Don’t give in to your fear.

ANAKIN takes a deep breath and steadies himself.

DOOKU: Please, Master Kenobi, I implore you to stand down. You cannot stop me. I don’t want to hurt you.

ANAKIN and OBI-WAN approach DOOKU, igniting their lightsabers. DOOKU does the same with a maniacal grin.

DOOKU: Now that’s the spirit.

The three engage in a lightsaber battle, with neither side having the upper hand. DOOKU seems to take pleasure in parrying ANAKIN and easily pushing him away.

DOOKU: Can’t you do better than that, boy?

The battle continues with DOOKU seeming to get tired of toying with them. He lashes out suddenly, knocking ANAKIN back against the wall, stunning him, and then with a quick series of cuts wounds OBI-WAN, sending him to the ground, unconscious.

DOOKU raises his saber and glances over to ANAKIN, who is slow to get up. He wants ANAKIN to see the killing blow. Before it can land, ANAKIN dashes across the room, and parries away DOOKU’s blade.

DOOKU: Brave of you, boy, but it’s going to take more than your pathetic Jedi training to best me.

The two continued to spar, with DOOKU easily fending off ANAKIN.

DOOKU: Caution is your weakness! I can feel your anger just below the surface. Release it before I put an end to you once and for all.

They exchange blades again, with ANAKIN looking more desperate with each blow. Their blades lock.

DOOKU: You want to murder me, boy! Don’t you? Do it! Just like…

ANAKIN’s face is awash in fear.

DOOKU (grinning): The Tuskens. What did Master Kenobi say when he learned about that? Oh? You haven’t told him? Smart of you, boy. He’d never forgive you. No Jedi would. Better to just let me kill you now!

ANAKIN goes into a fit of rage. He begins to easily overpower DOOKU. DOOKU realizes he’s underestimated ANAKIN’s power, more specifically, his willingness to embrace the Dark Side of the Force. DOOKU gets the better of ANAKIN for a brief moment, slicing off his right arm, and then pushing him back. He sees ANAKIN still enraged and ready to pounce again. ANAKIN calls his lightsaber to his remaining hand and leaps back up to his feet. He looks to his missing arm and howls in pain, then grins. His pain has only made him more powerful.

DOOKU then hurls his lightsaber toward a giant structure hanging from the ceiling, directly over OBI-WAN. The structure breaks, and then begins to fall.

ANAKIN sees OBI-WAN is in danger and snaps out of his Dark Side wrath. He drops his saber and raises his remaining arm to try and stop the structure from coming down. DOOKU pulls his saber back to his side, and boards his ship. ANAKIN struggles to bring the object down safely, away from OBI-WAN’s unconscious form. DOOKU’s ship blasts off.

ANAKIN, no longer enthralled by the Dark Side cries out in pain, tears streaming down his face. He hobbles over to OBI-WAN and collapses next to him. OBI-WAN awakens.

OBI-WAN (startled at the state of ANAKIN): Anakin! Anakin! What happened?

OBI-WAN pulls out his communicator and the scene fades out.

Oh shoot. I accidentally wrote out the utterly idiotic fight between Dooku and Yoda. Aw shucks! Well, that’ll save a bunch of money not having to animate that. Maybe George Lucas will be happy about it?

Jokes aside, this works much better. It shows Anakin trying to learn from his failure with the sand people, only to be lured into tapping back into the Dark Side. And wouldn’t you know it, he almost succeeds. He still loses his arm. Dooku still gets away. It ultimately ends with the exact same result, even if the superfluous Yoda fight is eliminated.

So is this it for the experiment? Did we watch Episode III? Do I have some thoughts on that?

Yes, but the series is so irredeemably broken by that point, even with my small tweaks, that it’s fundamentally unsalvageable. I do have an idea, I might explore, but it’s much less involved than the previous two ideas.