I missed my deadline last week! That means I have to put out two projects this week, lest I fall behind. It’s written right there in the rules. In The Motern Method that is.
This is actually an older story that I just came back and revised. It feels a bit like cheating, but it’s only slightly less work than banging out something that’s only existed in my head for 10+ years.
The Wayback Machine
“Lemons!” he said with the utmost enthusiasm.
“Lemons?” I asked skeptically. “All it takes is lemons?”
“Exactly. I’m surprised nobody thought of it before me.” He grinned as he squeezed a lemon into his iced tea and then took a sip.
I would be lying if I said I sat in contemplation over his words. I did not. He was talking nonsense. “Yeah. Lemons. So, if it is so simple why didn’t someone think of it before?”
He shrugged. “Why didn’t someone think of relativity before Einstein? Why didn’t someone think the world was round before Columbus?”
“Actually, everyone who knew anything about science, since Antiquity, knew the Earth was round. That myth about Columbus figuring it out is propaganda.” I loved to correct him when he was this smug.
“Fine.” He said as he put his iced tea back down. “Maybe someone did figure it out, but they never put all the pieces together, or never put it into practice.”
I rubbed my hands against my temples. “So, let me go over all the facts again as you’ve explained them. All it takes to master time travel is lemons?”
He nodded. “You’ve got it.”
“How exactly?”
He sighed. “I can’t explain it in a way you’d understand.”
I smiled. “Oh, I got it. It’s because it’s all nonsense and you can’t even explain it to yourself. I understand now one hundred percent.”
He rolled his eyes and looked away. “You’ll see. My first order of business is to go back in time and kick you down the stairs as a toddler.”
“Awww.” I laughed. “Can’t beat me now so you have to head back in time and do it?”
“Just you wait.” He continued to look away, hurt.
I leaned back in my seat and threw my hands in the air. “Then do it.” I waited, then looked around. “Oh shoot, I think I remember it now.”
His eyes darted back to me.
“Yeah. I was about four maybe. This guy came up to me. I thought he was just another sex pervert, like the TV warned me about. Come to think of it, he looked like you. He tried to come after me and then I kicked him in the nuts. That must be you going back in time and picking on me.”
He leaned forward. “That’s very funny, but I am dead serious. I have the secret now. I can do it. Despite how miserable you treat me, you’re the best friend I have. I want to share this with you, if you’re willing to help me put my idea into practice.”
He was so sure of himself. I almost believed him. “Alright.” I said grudgingly. “But before we talk about this any further answer me this one question; if the secrets of time travel exist, then why don’t we see travelers from the future already?”
He rolled his eyes and slumped back. “Don’t give me that crap. We’ve never seen them because they’ve been careful.”
“Listen, I don’t know how to put this, but you’re an idiot—and I’m saying that as your best friend. If you’ve figured out this lemon thing, so will others. Not everyone would be careful about it. We would see travelers from the future.”
He looked at me long and hard. “I’m not an idiot. For once in my life just accept that I’m a genius and have discovered something no one else will ever understand.”
I smiled half-heartedly. “Sure. Easy as that, eh? You’ve discovered something nobody else will. I got it. Now let’s get to work on this machine of yours. I should probably start making a list of all the stuff I need to go back and accomplish.”
He grinned and slapped his hands on the table. “Now that’s the spirit!”
Clearly he didn’t quite ‘get’ sarcasm.
I wish I could explain how the machine worked. It had a box of lemons with wires running through it, two seats, and a tablet hooked into some other device that ‘controlled’ the lemons. All in all, the whole machine cost us around thirty-six dollars, not counting the cost of the tablet, which we already had. The bigger cost was in costumes. He had a list of all the times to which he wanted to travel and had collected appropriate uniforms. On his list was July 1940, the Battle of Britain. October 1854, the Crimean War. And finally, Persia in 333 B.C.E. I thought this a rather eclectic choice of events until I remembered our high school days, when he listened to Iron Maiden almost exclusively, and that’s when it all came together.
We sat down in the machine for the test run.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“I think only ten minutes into the future. Let’s not risk going into the past and meeting ourselves.” He said rather seriously.
“Obviously we don’t go into the past because we would already have met ourselves, wouldn’t we?”
“No.” he said with a sigh. “It hasn’t happened until we actually do it. Now that we have a time machine the laws of the universe change a bit.”
“Oh, just like that we’ve changed the fabric of existence.” I double checked the safety belt on my seat, which was nothing more than a folding lawn chair with an old leather belt attached through two sewn on loops.
“Are you ready?” he asked as he began the program on the tablet.
“I grinned. Are you ready?”
He nodded.
“No, I mean are you ready to realize what a big waste of time this has been?”
He paused and turned slowly to me. “You’re welcome to get out of the machine if you don’t believe in me.”
I put away my smile, trying desperately not to laugh. “Of course, I believe in you. Let’s do this thing!”
He punched in “0Y 0D 0H 10M 0S” into the tablet and tapped the giant GO button.
I swear I could smell the lemons burning.
* * *
Had someone been looking in the right place they would have spotted it, but as it was, nobody was looking, not at that particular spot, why would they? By some strange perversion of science, two men had appeared in space one hundred and seventy thousand kilometers from Earth’s surface.
The lemons had worked. They had gone through time, but failed to account for the fact that while they moved along the fourth dimension they stayed still in the other three, appearing exactly where they were ten minutes previously. However, the Earth had moved on. Not just the Earth, but the moon, the sun, and even the entire galaxy had moved over one hundred and seventy thousand kilometers while they were hurtling through time.
They never even realized their error. They had only a few seconds to react before the cold vacuum of space killed them. As his last action our plucky narrator placed his hands over his intrepid friend’s neck and tried to strangle him.
Once introduced back into the universe they carried with them the energy stored in their bodies while traveling on Earth. This would theoretically put them one hundred and seventy thousand kilometers behind the Earth for all eternity unless some other force acted upon them. Only now that they were free of Earth’s rotation it sent them at an angle away from the planet. It took them some time to travel two hundred and fifty four million kilometers, but eventually they came to a rest in what scientists had long believed was an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, but as the two frozen corpses drew closer it was clear that the entire belt was made up of millions of time traveling devices in all shapes and sizes, each complete with at least one very shocked looking corpse.
Asteroid Belt Image Sourced From: https://newspaceeconomy.ca/2024/03/11/the-asteroid-belt-remnants-of-a-failed-planet-or-seeds-of-creation/
Armchair Screenwriter 