Small Tweaks
I’m returning to the concept from two weeks ago where I try to tweak one small thing in a movie.
Continuing the task of forcing my wife to watch the Star Wars prequels, we finally got around to Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones. She hasn’t drawn up divorce papers yet, so that’s probably a good sign.
Once again, I will not be trashing the movie. I will actually be quite reverential, keeping the overwhelming majority of it untouched.
A bit of a cop-out this week, sort of. It’s not a new story, but it still required quite a bit of writing, so I’m going to count it.
Here’s the experiment: Someone else comes to me with their story and wants some help. I don’t get to entirely re-write it. It’s their story, their ideas, they just want my input on how to tweak/fix some things that I might think are fundamentally broken. So, I have to set aside my impulse to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch and make it my story. It’s theirs, I’m just helping.
Where to start? Where to start? Oh, I know!
Recently I forced my wife to endure Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace in its entirety. She had never seen it. She was not exactly impressed, but it got us both talking about little tweaks that could potentially salvage at least some of the movie. For once I will not be trashing this movie. I will actually be quite reverential, keeping the overwhelming majority of it untouched.
Continue reading “Small Tweaks – Star Wars: Episode I”
The first episode of Ahsoka ends with a shocking cliffhanger… that lacks any tension or stakes if you have even the slightest amount of grey matter between your ears. Despite this, I feel no compulsion to keep watching. I just needed that first episode to confirm my suspicions, which it did resoundingly.
So what’s wrong with it? Is it bad?
Eh, it’s no worse than anything Disney has produced since 2015. It’s also not much better than the least interesting things they’ve produced.
The problem is accessibility. Allow me to extrapolate…
Continue reading “The Problem with Ahsoka (the show…)”So far Andor is the best Star Wars anything since The Empire Strikes Back… and I do not say that lightly. It still has time to shit the bed, it is Star Wars after all, a series with a history of falling to pieces as it continues.
I’m trying my hardest to justify how Andor can exist in the same universe as the Original and Prequel Trilogies. They are telling stories built upon one another but have such shockingly different approaches and tones. And here’s what I have come up with…
Continue reading “Justifying Andor”Boy oh boy… halfway through this stinker. Here are my stream of consciousness thoughts on the first three episodes. Some of my thoughts are wrong and contradicted later, but I have no plan to fix what I wrote on the day.
Continue reading “Obi-Wan Kenobi Episodes 1 – 3 Watch Notes”I was watching a video about the Galaxy’s Edge attraction at Disney and the statement was made: “The Sequel Trilogy won’t age the same way as the Prequel Trilogy”.
You said that right, my man…
Continue reading “How Will the Sequel Trilogy Hold Up?”
Two hundred years ago I wrote about how Luke’s rescue plan in Return of the Jedi made no sense. It took me a bit, but now here I am to apply the same logic to the cinematic masterpieces that is: The Phantom Menace.
Continue reading “Following Through on a Plan: The Phantom Menace”Hey, it’s “Star Wars Day” and I haven’t bitched about Star Wars yet!
Ok, I won’t complain too much. But imagine if Disney actually had a plan for Star Wars, instead of shitting the bed immediately by backing themselves into a corner with the setting of their sequel trilogy?
Let me get one thing out of the way right away; I don’t hate everything about the new films. I liked the performers and their performances. I liked the idea of most of the characters. I liked some concepts that were explored (and then ultimately discarded) in each film. There were some good things there… like bits of peanuts in a log of shit.
Most importantly, they are still better films than the prequels by FAR.
Major spoilers for the finale of season 2 of The Mandalorian ahead. You have been warned. Turn away now.
5
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Continue reading “The Hero is the one the show is named after”
Imagine this alternate history scenario. It’s May 1977 (if you weren’t alive and/or old enough to understand movies you are in this alternate history). You’re sitting in a cinema waiting to see the latest space movie everyone is going nuts for. The lights go out. The screen comes to life.
THE
STAR
WARS
bursts onto the center of the screen and fades back, and then the following text starts scrolling on the screen:
Continue reading “Star Wars “Original” Crawl”
Armchair Screenwriter 